This is a hot topic in some mommy circles and in society in general. This post is in no way intended to cause offense or drama. Just simply something I thought was intriguing.
I saw an article that says that children who remember being spanked as children are more well adjusted. My husband and I were both spanked as children. Eventually for each of us the effectiveness wore off and so that form of discipline stopped. I think some will say that there are arguments on both sides as to whether or not we are well adjusted adults :) I don't judge other parents if they spank, my reasoning is my reasoning and I don't hold anyone else to my line of thought because I'm not them, they aren't me. For some kids and some parents it may be totally appropriate and necessary. I feel like it's up to the parents to decide that.
We don't spank our kids. Part of why I don't spank is because of how I feel. Do I want to spank Julian because he is being naughty or do I want to hit him because he's being naughty? If all I want to do is hit him because he's being naughty then I need to take a breather and step back from the situation. The other main part is what I am teaching him. Does it make sense to spank him (and in his mind hit him) because he hit someone else? We tell him "no don't hit" and then he gets hit... for a 2 year old it just doesn't make sense. And in reality, as an adult it's not logical either.
What do you think?
4 comments:
I agree Sam, that is along the same reasoning I have. I noticed about a year ago when I practically out of nowhere spanked Ian (I was appalled when I did it!) that it was out of ME being out of control and not knowing how to best handle things than the spanking really being a good parenting/teaching tool (which some may same it could be...) but I'm with you--it just doesn't sit well with me to tell kids not to hit others--but then a parent can?!! I think as parents there are much better tools we can learn and utilize.
I totally see your point of view and we are very carefull to explain things to our kids and try not to have to spank, that said we do spank. But, I must say that I have seen moms in stores SPANK, and I mean almost beat, their kids. We don't do this.
If we spank, we spank the top of our kids hands or swat their tushies,(ALWAYS WITH CLOTHES ON).
I do feel that most kids can be talked to and punished in many other forms than being spanked, but I also think that when you have a 4 year old that time after time deliberatly disobey's you and then thinks it's funny to be put into time out... a little swat on the bum is effective. Well for my 4 year old anyway! :)
We were both spanked and it's really hard to not spank Lawson (as I'm sure you've experienced with him!) I don't agree with it as a punishment especially if he's been physical with someone- it's not logical, like you said. Sometimes he needs a spank. We're trying to get away from it but sometimes it seems like the only form of discipline that will work at the time.
I just realized my comment was really contradictory. It's a constant battle in my mind, I guess.
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